quotes from movies.

The world isn't split into Good People and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.
-Sirius Black to Harry in "Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix"

 

A musician and a lyricist are discussing writing songs:
Musician: Lyrics are important, they're just not as important as melody.
Lyricist: I really don't think you get it.  A melody is like seeing someone for the first time, the physical attraction, sex.  But then as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics, their story, who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magic.
- Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore in Music & Lyrics

 

She poured herself into a seamless dress... from the looks of it she spilled some.
-Harmony (Michelle Monaghan) in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 

Describing all the fucked up women in L.A.: It's like someone shook the country by the east coast and all the normal girls held on.
-Harry (Robert Downey Jr.) in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 

You don't get it, do you? This isn't good cop, bad cop, this is fag and New Yorker.  It's all over for you.
-Perry (Val Kilmer) in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 

Harmony: Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal.
Harry: Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch.
-Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 

Diana: Hi. I'm Diana Christensen, a racist lackey of the imperialist ruling circles.
Laureen: I'm Laureen Hobbs, a badass commie nigger.
Diana: Sounds like the basis of a firm friendship.
-Network

 

Mary Ann: You fuckin' fascist!! Did you see the film we made at the San Reno jail breakout demonstrating the rising up of the seminal prisoner class infrastructure?!
Laureen: You can blow the seminal prisoner class infrastructure out your ass! I'm not knockin' down my goddamn distribution charges!!!!
-Network

 

Discussing the similarities and differences between humans and android "dolls" with artificial intelligence (which "experience" humanity and, theoretically, have been committing suicide):

Humans are different from robots. That's an article of faith, like black isn't white. It's no more help than the basic fact that humans aren't machines. Unlike industrial robots, the androids and gynoids are designed as "pets", and weren't designed along utilitarian or practice models. Instead, we model them on a human image, an idealized one at that. Why are humans so obsessed with recreating themselves?

...Children have been excluded from customary standards of human behavior, if you define humans as beings who possess a conventional identity and act out of free will. Then what are children who endure in the chaos preceding maturity? They differ profoundly from "humans," but they obviously have human form. The dolls that little girls mother, are not surrogates for real babies. Little girls aren't so much imitating child rearing, as they are experiencing something deeply akin to child rearing... Raising children, it's the simplest way to achieve the ancient dream of artificial life.
- Haraway (Robot Forensic Scientist), in "Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence"

 

[referring to an android factory...] They turn out some mighty fine dolls. [Fine enough to commit suicide after murdering humans?] If that's true, it's pretty unseemly. That would mean replicating humans by breathing souls into dolls. Who'd want to do that? The definition of a truly beautiful doll is a living, breathing body devoid of a soul. "An unyielding corpse, tiptoeing on the brink of collapse."

...The human is no match for a doll, in its form, its elegance in motion, its very being. The inadequacies of human awareness become the inadequacies of life's reality. Perfection is possible only for those without consciousness, or perhaps endowed with infinite consciousness. In other words, for dolls and for gods.

...there's one more mode of existence commensurate with dolls and deities. [Animals?] Shelley's skylarks are suffused with a profound, instinctive joy. Joy we humans, driven by self-consciousness, can never know. For those of us who lust after knowledge, it is a condition more elusive than godhood.

- Kim [and Togusa], in "Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence"

 

So what's more likely? That a mysterious, all-powerful God created the Universe, and then decided not to leave a single evidence of his existence? Or that He simply doesn't exist at all, and that we created Him, so that we wouldn't have to feel so small and lonely?
-Ellie Aroway (scientist) in "Contact"

 

When asked why, despite perfect MCAT scores, he doesn't want to go to med school, Kumar replies "Just because you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you have to do porn!"
-Kumar, in "Harold & Kumar Go to Whitecastle"

 

The following is an excerpt from a scene in "Deliver us from Eva" where Eva, a hardass health inspector, inspects a restaurant kitchen:

Eva: It does not look good, Oscar...I found contamination in red zones, your glass freezer door has a hairline break in it, and I found black pellets behind the food containers in the back.

Oscar:  That is probably just graphite from the new units we put in.

Eva: And your water's only 105 degrees. 

Oscar: Can't you just let that slide?

Eva: Well the requirement is 110 because science tells us at that temperature, all dangerous organisms will die.  That means in your water, some will live.  And not just any germs, Oscar, oh, NO, the badass ones, the ones that can swim in 105 degree temperature water, and live to party on some child's french fries.

Oscar: We don't serve fries.

Eva: Are you mocking me???

Oscar: No, Ma'am.

Eva: That's good, because I'm not done yet.  This entire kitchen gets a level 4 sanitation or you get written up.

Oscar: What?!  No no, that means it's in the newspaper!!

Eva: Well, thank goodness for you I've got a soft heart.

Oscar:  HEART?  YOU don't have a heart.  You gotta hole with an ice pump in it.  You know, I don't understand you.  Why do you have to be so goddamned uncompromising??

Eva: It's called principal, Oscar.  Maybe the world is in short supply, but I am not.  You see, people pay their tax dollars for my principal, so they can go into a restaurant and not eat chicken fried rat or bite into a chicken, lettuce, and toenail sandwich.  If I slack up on you, then I have to cut everyone a break, and pretty soon, the almonds on your salad have legs.  If that makes me uncompromising, well, I wear it as a badge of honor, because I'm in damned good company.  Martin Luther King was uncompromising.  Nelson Mandela was uncompromising, and I'm sure your mother was uncompromising, although the evidence of that is not apparent today.  SO, why don't you think of me as your mom right now, and Momma says "Clean it up!"  See you in 48 hours.
 

 

I'm going to call 911... what's the number?
-Seth Green in Idle Hands

 

Atomic Co-re... let's see what this so-called button does... Oops! My bad!
-Dave Chapelle as Conspiracy Brother in Undercover Brother

 

Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to.
-Judy Parfitt as Vera Donovan in Dolores Claiborne

 

Undercover Brother: "The Man"? Are you telling me there really is a 'Man'?
Conspiracy Brother: What do you think? Things don't just happen by accident! Sometimes people - mostly *white* people - make things happen!
Undercover Brother: So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The NBA really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?
Conspiracy Brother: Of course!
Undercover Brother: Then the entertainment industry really *is* out to get Spike Lee?
Conspiracy Brother: Come on man! Even Cher's won an Oscar! Cher!
Undercover Brother: Then O.J. really didn't do it?
[Everyone looks away and mumbles]
-Dave Chapelle and Eddie Griffin in Undercover Brother

 

The following excerpt is part of a deleted scene from Kevin Smith’s movie Dogma, where the demon Azrael (played magnificently by Jason Lee) explains the nature of Hell (and why he is willing to undo all existence to escape it) to Bethany (et al). DOWNLOAD this 2MB video clip in RealVideo format HERE. Or, for streaming video (RealVideo or Windows Media), visit http://www.viewaskew.com/tv/lee/index.html.  [FYI, this scene appears in the deleted scenes section of the Dogma DVD, but the full production audio was left off the DVD clip - this version of it has all audio included]

Azrael: Human, have you ever been to Hell?  I think not.  Did you know that once, Hell was nothing more than the absence of God, and if you’d ever been in his presence, then you’d realize that’s punishment enough.  But then, your kind came along and made it so much worse. 

Bethany: Humans aren’t capable of one hundredth the evil a shitbag demon like you is!

Azrael: Evil is an ABSTRACT!!! It’s a human construct!  But true to his irresponsible nature, man won’t own up to being its engineer, so he blames his dark deeds on my ilk.  But his selfishness is limitless.  And it’s not enough to shadow his own existence, no, he turned hell into a suffering pit.  Fire, wailing, darkness, the kind of place anyone would do anything to get out of.  And why?  Because he lacks the ability to forgive himself.  It is beyond your abilities to simply make personal recompense for the sins you commit.  No, you choose rather to create a psychodrama and dwell on a foundless belief that God could never forgive your grievous offenses.  So you bring your guilt and your inner decay with you to Hell, where the hoared imaginations of so many gluttons for punishment gave birth to the SICKNESS that has infected the Abyss since the first one of your kind arrived there, begging to be punished.  And in doing so, they have transformed the cold and solitude to PAIN AND MISERY!  I’ve spent eons privy to the flames, inhaling the decay, hearing the wail of the damned.  I know what effect such horrors have on the delicate psyche of an angelic being!

Would you like to glimpse pain eternal?  Look.  [Azrael places his hands over Bethany’s eyes.  For about 10 seconds, we see some of the most fucked up and disturbing imagery that can be crammed into 240 frames of film.]  I’d rather not exist than go back to that.  And if everyone has to go down with me, SO BE IT.

 

In the following excerpt from Dogma, the fallen angel Loki (Matt Damon) ruminates on the nature of organized religion:

Through the Looking Glass -- that poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter" -- that's an indictment of organized religion.  The Walrus, with his girth and good nature, obviously refers either to Buddha or, with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha.  That takes care of your eastern religions.  Now, the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions.  Now in the poem, what do they do?  They dupe all these oysters into following them, and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse.  I don't know what that says to you, but to me, it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensured the destruction of one's inner being.  Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions out of fear of some intangible parent figure who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says "Do it, and I'll fuckin' spank you!"

 

Our love is God. Let's go get a slushy.
-Christian Slater in Heathers

 

There is someone out there for everyone - even if you
need a pickaxe, a compass, an night goggles to find them.
-Steve Martin in L.A. Story

 

I hate Jane. I'd like to get her into therapy, fuck her up real good.
-Sara Jessica Parker in If Lucy Fell